ReDesigning / ReImagining

I remember when I was in my early 20s, most achievements came so effortlessly. I've always had a great road map in my mind of how my life would go and by God's grace and my hardwork my dreams flourished. Marriage and Motherhood were in my mental road map and when I accepted my husband's hand in marriage I had NO idea how this commitment would impact my outlook on life, myself, my role in the world. Marriage -- sharing my life with someone I truly love -- has been thee most humbling experience to date.

This is not a gloom and doom marriage story...anymore...lol. We had a very dark time but I see light now and I'm glad we were able to stick it through. We are blessed to have elders in our lives that offered their love, support and opinions yet still gave us room to "figure it out". July 2014 will be our seven (7) year anniversary and we've both grown, matured and diminished so much of our egos that we're able to be understanding, listen  for more meaning and respond in love. This growth process hasn't always felt good; but getting to the other side is true Victory.  Life always brings more challenges but I take comfort in believing that we'll overcome them together, more gracefully than before.

The video I posted below is of Denzel Washington speaking to a group of actors; but he's sums up a message I hear from my grandmother, an extremely wise woman, a lot. Your well meaning, good ideas and desires are God ideas. My thoughts about my life's path and how to achieve peace, joy and prosperity are desires of God for me, specifically. God sent these ideas; these desires to me. Now, its my obligation to put in the work to make these dreams come true!  This is marriage. This is motherhood. This is entrepreneurship.

I've still got more goals to achieve but I'm proud of me because I know that I'm diligent about continuously improving my spiritual, mental, physical, and emotionally self to be a better me. I won't allow the dreams that my loved ones have FOR me impede on my own vision for myself. I'll be joyful re-designing my future; re-imagining my days. This will be exciting and I'm Bonnie along for the ride.

Post by MD Marketing Network.

Grey. Area.

For me, grey areas in life cause confusion and leave too much room for error.  I like the definitive - no ifs and maybes - only when and will! I've been living in Grey for far too long.  It's time to make decisions to allow laser focus.  The future is on line and time waits for no one.  I will make the best of my time. I have learned a lot and I am very thankful for these lessons. No one could have prepared me and now I must move forward with love and dignity fully accountable for any aftermath. 

I am ready!

Communication Theory

In all our relationships and interactions with people, clear and honest communication is key. So, when I say honest, it's more important to be honest with yourself because through that process you'll end up being honest with the person with whom you're communicating.

Your communication methods determine how people see you. It's verbal and non verbal. How successful can you be at capturing attention of those around you without words and being able to keep their attention once you open your mouth? Those that can't maintain both, I liken to the cute girls/guys in the club that can't complete a sentence with good subject verb agreement. LoL. Cute face, no brains.

On the job everyone (well, most people) are on their best behavior. We're polite, we say please and thank you. We think before we speak to ensure that another person's feelings aren't stepped on so the next day, you can still have a good "working" relationship right? Keep the office progressive and productive, right?! Of course we can't be our "real"selves at work, not 100%, because for some of us (not me of course ;-) that would be our last job!

But what about those more intimate relationships? You know the ones...mother /daughter; father/son; husband/wife; sibling-to-sibling; BFF-to-BFF. These relationships are already built on such a strong foundation. Whether its blood, friendship, friendship + marriage, the foundation is there and is usually (hopefully & prayerfully) strong. So, why is it that these are the relationships that it's easiest for us to neglect when it comes to our communication "best practices"? We marketers talk a lot about best practices...ya know, SEM, Email marketing..okay, maybe you don't know, but you don't have to be a marketer to continue your innate best
practices in your private life as much as you use them in your professional life.

With that, for my readers I will list a few communication best practices for us all to implement. The below is in no particular order, after reading, you'll know what you need to work on.

1. Speak with Conviction - No one likes a pushover, however you can get the same point across without the hostility in your tone and cruelty in your words. Yes, whether you like/agree/care what the person is talking about, it can be accomplished without being an asshole!
2. Listen Loud- Listening seems so simple until its your turn to do it, right? I know I'm guilty of this myself. Someone will start talking and I don't agree so I interrupt to make my point before they finish theirs. Or, I'll be caught up listening to my own thoughts, I may have missed a point they were trying to make. Come to find out, I don't disagree, yet had I been listening...I would have known that. Listening is the most important part of communication!
3. Know Thy Self - No one knows you better than you do! Do yourself justice by being honest with yourself, checking your ego/attitude/fustration at the door, so that you don't create negative communication habbits between your co-workers, family and friends.
4. Embrace Diverse Perspectives - My mom always used to say, "if everyone looked the same, thought the same, talked the same, how boring would th world be?" What a true statement! No one will see issues and events the same way that you do, but that doesn't mean they are wrong for having a different perspective. Open your mind and your ears.
5. Respect, Appreciate, Agree - This is a 3-in-1 because I'm getting sleeply. We can improve almost any relationship by finding something we honestly like or respect about the other person (even with an opponent). But we miss opportunities to build these emotional bridges because we are attracted to the activity and motion of conflict. The attraction to conflict and anger is very dangerous, you might hurt yourself in attempt to hurt someone else.
   

Goodnight people! I may add something to this, but I've gotta lay it down. Another job interview in the morning. Peace ~

Testimony

Our God works in the most wondrous ways. He moves in stealth mode ensuring our lives are on the right track. Even when we can understand His methods, things always work out for the best.

In May I left my job for various reasons, but mostly to focus on my graduate studies, which are going extremely well! Then, in late June I found out that I was pregnant. What a great feeling that was! Seemingly immediately after we found out about the baby, complications started. I began to pray and pray, praying away the complications. The problem was, I hadn't been praying in months. I hadn't been to church in months. I had turned my eyes and ears away from the Lord...for much too long. I am not suggesting that HE didn't hear me, only that he had other plans for me.

Three weeks later, I miscarried. Which was mentally and physically a very painful experience! One that I hope to never have to experience again. An experience which broke my spirit in ways unimaginable. That coupled with not having a job to take my mind off things, or my own cash to shop my way out of misery...thinking about how I'd planned a December wedding that will never happen and got a dress that I don't know when if ever I'll get to wear...created extreme rage, anger, pain and tears as big as the red sea. I couldn't stand to look at myself, listen to myself think more less speak with out beating myself up about all the things that seemed so wrong.

I'd like the say thank you to my new hubby, life partner and friend, Mychal for being here with a level head to see me through the foolishness and pain. For becoming more understand than he thought he could and growing in ways he initially resisted. You've been a wonderful voice of reason and wholly supportive mate. Thank you, thank you...I love you. ;)

Last Sunday, was my first back in Church. It was as if Pastor Lomax wrote the day's message with me in mind...speaking to me directly! I of course, shed more tears, hearing some of the same things that my Mom, Grandmom, Sister and Mychal had said days or weeks before. The only difference, he had scriptures for me to refer to, his delivery wasn't accusatory, his tone as even and this time...my heart and ears were open. After church, I knew I needed a game plan. Just like I'd developed a plan for finding new employment. I needed a game plan for finding my inner peace. I'm happy to report, I now have an inner peace plan..one that I will alter as needed to keep my emotions in check and my heart focused on God.

On Monday, I got an email about a job. Tuesday, I went for an interview. Next Monday...I start work! Yay!! God is so good when you focus on Him. I have more faith than ever that he will continue to work within me to make me a better me. I can expect nothing short of extraordinary greatness from Him! I can't wait to see what He has in store for me!!!

Now, I know this should have been my first post considering the first says that I won't be going backward, but this is something I needed to get off my heart and share with you all. For those of you who haven't talked to me...I won't be talking about it. I've moved on. This is your opportunity to find out what's been going on and how far I've come since then. Please no, I'm sorries. Be happy for me...I am!

Thanks for reading, for caring and loving me!

Peace ~ Mia